Week 2 Day 5...
I cant breathe right now and need a paper bag. I have some news that is my biggest fear in my relationship with John and this whole stupid Army bull shit. Josh the guy that I have been going on and on about has come cleaned that he IS indeed cheating on his wife of like 5 years with a woman from the company. Ooh man just saying that makes me sick and thinking it makes me even sicker. I know that I probably shouldnt worry about John but its to late. Hearing from Stacy's mouth that Josh is cheating and has been for a little over a month just made me fall to me knees in tears. Begging for God to not let this be true. I know that I have been going on and on about much I hate Josh and if you didnt think I had a good reason then I do now. I hope that John didnt know anything about this till just a few days ago. I hope that John didnt see anything between them and I hope that John finds this NOT ok. If he does however then I will be asking him not to talk and to hang out with him. Cheating is just so NOT cool. I think even if John doesnt find this ok when once he gets home then I think that I will still ask him not to hang out with him. Josh has disrespected Stacy in the up most way that John hanging out with him would just be disrespecing me. The big huge BBQ that was going on the last weekend before they left and Josh got into trouble was one day that Josh and this Army Whore had some kind of sexual interaction. It wasnt sex but something else. I'm just glad to all hell that I have John on lock and key and whatever anyones says thats how I feel. Stacy just let Josh do whatever he wanted and look what happened. John and I have our problems and everything but, I would NEVER let him leave while he was mad or angry at me. I dont know what to think or what to say I just feel like crying and I hope to God that John calls me or writes me a e-mail telling me he doesnt know what exactly is going on that he just heard about this also. And that he loves and that I dont have anything to worry about. I know its not going to make me think any different and now with this going on I worry more. I almost wanna fly to Iraq and risk my life to watch John. Because I dont trust him and I have NEVER trusted any Army woman. I know they all arent like that but you know what this is the 3rd Army Whore that I know of doing this to someone. This is going to sound wrong but who cares this is my blog but I dont think that woman should join the Army they get around men and then they just turn into sluts. They dont care if the guy is married or has a family as long as they get off there are fine. And I know its not all the womens fault and that it takes 2 and whatnot and I'm not just mad at this chick but Josh too. But, remember I didnt like him in the first place. Ooh yeah before I wrap this up my whole plain for Josh leaving back home once his done with the Army is now off the table now with Stacy leaving him he might just stay out here. Oh my God please make him go home. I cant take this. I have so many things running though my head right now. I hope that John doesnt talk him out of doing that (going back home) because I really think they spend just WAY to much time together. Ok well I need to eat since I havent eatin ALL day.