To Die or Not to Die...
Yup that pretty much says it all. The kids are the only things that are keeping me from taking sleeping pills and drinking 2 bottles of wine. I'm scared of what might happen but right now not scared of dying. I havent been at this point of life for a long time its been about 10 years now. I cant eat or sleep and crying is the only thing that I can do. I'm alone and scared and kinda cold. I've hit rock bottom of life and theres only 6 more feet left. (6 feet under ground). I made the first step and called someone for help. I dont have a appt with the doctor yet but its going to be sometime this week. Thats if I make it through a weekend. I called John's Rear Det. and they are going to write a e-mail to his first SGT and have John call. I just cant believe how far this has gotten. My whole world is coming to a end and my kids are the only thing that I have. Hunter keep asking "whats wrong mommy," I tell him my heart hurts and he gives it kisses. Hes been giving me hugs and saying "its ok mommy, its ok." God, I hope so.