Week 3 Day 6...
Another day another damnit. I missed John online again. It was about 6:30am for me and I freakin missed it. Hes just better off calling me. Oh well.
I went to the doctor today and we just talked about me and my childhood. 50 minutes goes by pretty fast. I have another appt on Mon at like 3. I really hope we can start getting into the good stuff like why I do the things I do and how can I deal with them or get over them. Thats where I need help in. I think I feel like I have to be super woman all the time and sometimes I just wanna lean on someone for help. I think its about time I put my cape away. I feel like I'm trying to be strong for John in the sence that I tell him that everything is just going great when in reality its not. I sometimes feel like my whole world is crashing around me. I stay strong because I have to be and not because I am. I think its just really catching up with me. With depression its even harder. I have Johns side of the family and a few good friends that I can count on but there are hundreds of miles away. Ok well I'm tried of this depressing crap its just bring my down.
Maybe I'll start tomorrow with a clean slate. Start over from the inside out. As of now its late again and I'm beat. Night all.